your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
