Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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