her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You were trust falling into bushes
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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