dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
