Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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