naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
