I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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