I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
