Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
