There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
