i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
