So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
