weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
