I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
