you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
