I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
