I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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