i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
