i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
