Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
