Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
third nipple confirmed
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
