Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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