SEEEEXXX PLEASE
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
