and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
