it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Randomize
