youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
