I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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