the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
