i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
