Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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