I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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