Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
