Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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