Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
