She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
