hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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