so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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