Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
