and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
