Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
