I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
