Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
