Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
