That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
