And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
