I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It's never too late to be topless.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
