If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
