Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
there was a trapeze. enough said
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
