If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
