I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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