somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
