And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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