Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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