I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
