I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
