also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
